That whole seasonal affective thing ...

For whatever reason, I've never been a big fan of February.

It actually goes back to my early teaching days in Milwaukee, when something about the shortest month of the year with its 4:30PM cover of darkness, classrooms filled with vitamin-D deficient students, and overall interminable gloom just settled in a took up a warm cozy residence in my psyche. It's just always a hard one for me.

Sure, there's plenty to appreciate about February, I suppose. Valentines Day.

Um.

President's Day.

My sister's birthday! (That's a good one, actually!) And my Dad's birthday! But those celebrations are within a week of the end of this wintry month, so they really don't count.

It's weird that February brings me such a bummer-vibe. You'd think it'd be March. Now there's a month that was gloomy in Milwaukee. But having grown up in Missouri, March - for me at least - really has always just "felt" like a harbringer of spring. I was Confirmed in March. Granted, it was overcast and extremely wet and cold, but hey - it was also Palm Sunday so it "felt" spring-y. Nope, March is all good.

Right now I am in the holding pattern - almost halfway through February and really ready for some sign of winter's demise.

So, here's my pondering today - how do all of my dear friends out there battle SAD (isn't that ironic, eh?) Seasonal Affective Disorder, I'm not saying I have it - but let's be honest the symptoms seem to be popping up all over! And this isn't a slight to folks who battle depression - we can talk about that in a future post. But the reality is - gloomy cold, hibernating communities breed a sense of "ugh." So how are you beating it? 

Extra workouts? Cooking your favorite recipes? A new devotional/prayer ritual? Extra emphasis on time with friends? Maybe our January new year resolutions are better saved for February as opposed to being introduced in the hectic mayhem of the first month of the year.

I'm curious. And eager to learn because this year seems more difficult than others. I think with the new house, big stresses at the office, an on-the-go toddler, new directions for Leon's career and other "big" ticket issues on the brain, I just feel more inclined to be melancholy this February. So I am looking for some reasonably logical strategies, perhaps a good kick in the gloomy-butt, and maybe a chance to meet for tea with some good friends to help us all pull through.

Now We Wait ...

Waiting has never been my forte. So you can well imagine that 40-weeks of pregnancy has felt a bit like 40 years ... oh, I don't know, wandering in the desert waiting for the Promised Land? Actually, with all of the preparing: nursery decorating, furniture and gear "research" and selection, reading, reading, reading ... it hasn't really been that challenging to wait. Until we hit 27-weeks that is, and daily life became home bound life. Even THAT wasn't too tough compared to the last 11 days in the hospital.

THAT was some serious waiting.

Now we are home and the waiting continues. Our doctor has indicated everything is a possibility at this point from going into labor over Christmas, to a scheduled c-section next Thursday or Friday, to "waiting" into January. It's hard to wait with so many variables. At least for us.

Leon spent his days while I was in the hospital working, caring for me, waiting with me and then coming home at night to finish the nursery nesting "just in case". We're ready alright, as ready as two 30-somethings with ten-years of marriage under their belt but relatively little infant experience can be, that is.

Now we wait.

Obvious connections to this Advent and Christmas season and waiting are clear. And that has been unique conversation for us as we wait.

But it doesn't soothe the nerves; not "bad" nerves, just nerves, energy, and excitement. WHEN will we actually see our little Sydney?

One of the very special parts of the challenges of this pregnancy has been the "perk" (albeit for medical reasons) of seeing Sydney each and every week via very clear ultrasound. We've literally watched her grow and develop for the past 10 weeks and it has been incredible. We've seen her "practice" breathing in the womb (a truly awesome thing to see); we've seen her facial features take on definition; this past week, we even saw her sucking her thumb. We know she can "hear" and feel us; she always tries to bat away the technician's ultrasound wand! And she responds to singing, chatter and general "Hey, Sydney!" (that usually from Leon) ... We want to have her here, though. Safe and healthy and here.

And so we wait.

It could be a very big week! We'll keep you posted.

"Waiting for Our Miracle ..."

Dear Family & Friends:

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.” Psalm 28:7

God is so good all the time. We give thanks to Him for his goodness, care and love, which we have felt through the words, actions and prayers from each of you over the last few days. As we wait on God’s plan for our little Sydney Grace’s arrival into the world, we are confident that He has good plans in store for our family.

We want to provide an update about where things “are” with regard to the pregnancy following the “adventures” of the last four days. Much has changed in such a short span, but the important thing is that as of now, Gretchen and Sydney are healthy and safe. Here’s a recap/update:

After what was to be a routine ultrasound this past Thursday, we found ourselves admitted to St. Joseph’s hospital before being transferred to St. Mary’s hospital in St. Louis. It turned out that Gretchen had several complicating indicators that showed her to be experiencing pre-term labor. We spent three days working with the awesome team of specialists at St. Mary’s and were able to slow Gretchen’s contractions, provide medications that would better protect Sydney should she be born early, and learn that Sydney is healthy in the womb. On Saturday afternoon, we were able to learn, through various tests that Gretchen should not be going into labor in the next two weeks. We were released to home care on the condition that Gretchen basically rest and maintain limited home-based activity (with the exception of special approved Doctor’s release for "special" occassions) for the duration of the pregnancy. In this news, we were extremely blessed. Things could have gone much differently. We give thanks for Gret’s response to the medications and the care of the doctors ~ all of which were evidence of God’s provision in this situation.

Our goal is to keep Sydney in the womb as long as possible (“Cook, Baby, cook!”). The doctor’s at St. Mary’s told us that at 27 weeks (where we currently are), they would give Sydney a “good” chance for survival, but obviously each week that passes improves those numbers and certainly reduces the complications that would accompany such a premature birth. Our goal is to make it at least to 34 weeks, which would allow us a safe delivery at St. Joseph’s here in St. Charles.

So, Leon is now “in charge” of Gretchen’s at-home rest (Gretchen calls it Nazi Hospital Camp), and of course as you all can probably assume, keeping Gret resting and content with limited activity will be something of a challenge (prayers please ;-) Gretchen will be able to maintain her work from home, but is eager for visitors and phone calls! Leon is looking forward to learning to be something of a manly Martha Stewart in the kitchen and has already started collecting recipes. Bailey is assisting Leon by following Gret everywhere and glaring at her if it seems she is too long on her feet.

In all of this, God continues to reveal His care and lasting provision in our lives. We are so thankful for the support and love you have shown to us, and we ask you to continue praying for Sydney as we progress through these next weeks. Please don’t hesitate to call or contact us ~ we are thankful for your loving connection in our lives.

With Joy-filled anticipation of all that is to come ~

Leon, Gretchen & Sydney