Sunday, March 23, 2008

I Just Don't Wanna ...

Lately, there seems to be loads of blog-worthy life action happening here at Chez Jameson. Countless times, I have caught myself pondering something meaningful, or silly, or mundane, or profound (at least in my estimation). From whether or not there should be a “redo” primary in Michigan (why can’t we FOLLOW rules, people?) to what makes me love Hannah Montana (sad, but true), to the awesome conversation about female modesty I had with a group of 17-year-olds a few nights ago … there is lots to consider and (shocker here) lots to preach about …

Where are all these essays on life, you may wonder? I mean, my blog is hardly jam packed these days with long tomes that hold forth on these and other meaningful topics …

Well …

Some are still on the brain. Others were forgotten as quickly as they were considered. Some have been tabled as the day-to-day catches up to my musing. I’m not entirely sure what this means; the fact that things that seem so important and worthy of commentary lose a bit of their “umph” by the time I find a few spare moments in the evening hours.

Maybe it’s the five a.m. wake-up each day. Or the energy it takes to plan for a simple outing to the grocery store, which used to be something done without thought and now requires more planning than a military strategist waging a campaign (diaper bag, check; purse, check; cell phone, check … BABY! Go get the baby!)

Maybe, just maybe it is the subtle shifting of priorities and opinion: hmmm, wax on at the blog OR snuggle Sydney and watch The Parent Trap on Hallmark channel with Leon? …

It’s not that I’ve lost “my voice” per se. (On the contrary, I seem to hold forth on all matter of subjects while feeding Sydney … she agrees with me entirely, how nice! ), but when the day draws to its close and there is a window of time to key in rambling musings (which, let’s face it, pretty much defines most blogs, which are on the whole a shockingly narcissistic exercise for most of us in contemporary culture …) I just … well, I don’t wanna.

To pose the good Lutheran question: what does this mean? Thoughts anyone?

I suppose it’s a phase or something. New Mommyness, new professional aspirations … change is my new common. And perhaps this lack of drive to express my view to … well, pretty much anyone who decides to read my silly blog is really connected to this deeper sense of life being in FLUX. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about ANYTHING … maybe, I don’t know … perhaps.

In the meantime, I’m gonna give myself permission to just “not wanna” ~ I think that’s healthy and there are probably loads of deep insights to take from that. But for my part, I’m just going to enjoy this time “off” … I’m sure I’ll be back with loads of opinions in no time at all.

+Onward and Upward

3 comments:

Katrina said...

Please at least continue to post photos of your darling girl so that we can see her grow! Don't quit your blog completely!!

+gmjameson said...

I won't! I just am lacking a "philosophical" bent, LOL!

I love you!

Katrina said...

Oh good! Phew!! (You had me worried there!!!) :)